


Soulmates - {k.yc • p.jh}

by smoshyphantrash



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band), Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Drug Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25329115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoshyphantrash/pseuds/smoshyphantrash
Summary: He sees what his soulmate sees.He feels what his soulmate feels.He doesn't know who his soulmate is......and Yuchan is determined to find out.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun, Kang Yuchan | Chan/Park Junhee | Jun, Lee Donghun/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [soulmates - {k.th × m.yg}](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12982218) by [smoshyphantrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoshyphantrash/pseuds/smoshyphantrash). 



Another headache. My soulmate must've hit their head. This one was stronger than it usually was. I felt a hand hold onto mine. I looked to my right to see Sehyoon coaching me through another one of these visions. I hated them, simply because of what I'd see. It made me anxious to get to my soulmate. "Deep breath, lay your head down," Sehyoon took his other hand, running through my hair slowly to try to soothe some of the pain.

Screaming filled my ears, masculine screaming. This was odd. Maybe I was getting closer to figuring out who my soulmate was. I've never had a huge hint like this before. I hadn't known if I was destined to be with a male or a female and now I know. Begging was next. "I studied really hard, Dad, you have to believe me!" I jumped as I heard a slap land right next to my soulmate's ear.

"I don't care how hard you studied, you still failed your math test!" The man's voice was booming and largely intimidating.

Next, I heard sniffling and crying. "I-I swear, I tried really hard! I don't understand math! I don't understand which way to shade when graphing inequalities a-and factoring is really hard. So is completing the square. Dad, please. Maybe Mom is good at math! Maybe she can teach me. Please don't hurt me!" My heart broke with every word that fell from the boy's mouth.

I bit my lip, trying to focus enough to piece together who this boy was. "I know how to do this math. Can you hear me? I know how to do it, I can help. Tell your father if you can hear me."

Alas to no avail, he couldn't hear me. "Pack up for Incheon. You're going to visit your uncle." I felt the fear rush through me. It didn't sound good.

"No, Dad! Please, I can handle the belt. I'm sorry, don't send me there!" I saw his father walk away and the entire scene fade to black.

I sat up, looking around the classroom. Sehyoon was the only one next to me. "Let's go to third block," Sehyoon mumbled grabbing our backpacks.

Sehni was a good friend. After I got these visions, he usually watched after me. I had a tendency to self-destruct because I couldn't find my soulmate. I didn't want to find him for my life to have a lover in it. I wanted to save him. I couldn't deal with being on the cusp of a breakthrough just to be knocked back again. He tried to keep me from hurting myself because my soulmate felt it too. I just felt so stuck. His voice, I worried that he'd been talking to me this entire time and I just never heard it. He said something to me, despite not having any driven hope in me ever hearing him. "Soulmate, where are you? A-Am I older than you? Have you not reached the point where you can start looking for me? Am I talking to no one? If not? I beg you to please come find me. Take me away from here. Bring me home. I need you." My soulmate seemed to want to give up. I couldn't let that happen to him.

As we sat down at our desks in our third class, I sat silently, watching Sehyoon slump into his seat. He hated this class. We had the Soulmate Kings, Changkyun and Kihyun, in our class. They were like a husband and wife who were best friends before marrying. Along with that, they were ruthless and evil human beings. I watched in silence as they approached Sehyoon. "Move, bitch." Kihyun barked. "This is his seat today," He said, swiping Sehyoon's supplies onto the floor. Changkyun just laughed, picking up Sehyoon's wallet.

"Awe isn't that just adorable. The little cunt has a picture of his parents in his wallet." Changkyun showed a few people around him the picture. "Why do you have this? Oh yeah, wait... You were sent away from your parents, they were awful. Wasn't your mother a whore? And wasn't your father a druggie? Didn't he ship you off here before killing your mother? Why would you want to remember him? It's pathetically hilarious." People laughed at Sehyoon. "I still don't understand why you're still sitting there. Didn't my lover tell you to move?"

I got up right as Kihyun pushed the desk over, Sehyoon falling onto the floor. More laughter. I grabbed Sehni and his things, moving him closer to me. "Yikes, his boy toy came to help him. I think it's time to call the officials, Ki..." Changkyun wrapped his arms around one of Kihyun's, laying his head on his shoulder.

"And for what?" I asked, sitting back in my seat.

Changkyun laughed. "It's obvious you're pleasuring the punished peasant," he smirked. "Deviants and their descendants aren't allowed a normal life. They don't get soulmates and they don't get jobs they want and they don't get treated right. So stop trying to help him. You're going to end up becoming a Deviant and I just... I care too much for you, Kang Yuchan." Changkyun ended his spiel and sat down. 

Bullshit. He didn't care at all. Neither of them did. They never struggled a day in their lives. Their families were rich and pompous, big CEO corporate assholes. Kihyun and Changkyun didn't have any idea how hard it was to hold this label, Deviant. A Deviant was basically the scum of this society. You get nothing and often times the label is given unfairly. Deviants were made to keep people down. Deviants had to often revert to crime to keep themselves alive and their families, if they broke that law themselves. Then their family would be labeled as Deviants and there was no getting out of it. Sehyoon kept quiet in class, waiting until lunch. Where we could hide and go onto the roof to hang out.

"Okay... what was your vision this time?" Sehni asked, leading me up to the roof. "If you can tell me some things, I can continue searching for them." He set his bag down, taking out a pen and a pad of paper.

I sighed, worrying about too many things at once. "Are you okay? What Changkyun said was out of line today and I promise you when we leave here, you won't be an Devi-"

Sehyoon glared at me. "I'll be okay once you tell me about your vision. I'm gifted with this, Channie, don't waste it." He turned his attention back to his pad.

"It's a boy. I'm looking for my husband here. Uhm... he's afraid of his father. He has an uncle named Matthew in Incheon and he's going there. He seems to hate it there. He mentioned something about handling the belt. I've seen him get beat before." I ran my hand through my hair. 

Sehyoon sighed. "Any time when? I can always buy you a bus ticket for the same day."

I shook my head. "Besides, I wouldn't allow you to. You need to save. You barely make enough to get by." Sehyoon nodded, continuing to write. We were interrupted by the door to the roof opening.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I-I just came to study for my math retake." I furrowed my eyebrows, looking at the boy. His voice matched. His body was covered, I could only assume it was to preserve the privacy of what was happening to him.

Sehyoon had the same idea as I. "Are you looking for a soulmate?" He asked, blatantly.

The boy laughed. "Oh no, no... My girlfriend is amazing, thank you. I've found her." With that awkward encounter, he left, going downstairs.

"Sehni... I-I" I felt my body sway as another vision came my way.

Sehyoon got up and held me before sitting us both down on the ground. "Hello, Uncle..." The voice spoke, tears obviously riding on it.

"Damn it, he's already in Incheon..." I bit my lip.

Suddenly, a sharp pain ran up my spine as my soulmate was slammed into wall. "You've been disobedient lately? Do I need to teach your to do what you're asked?" The scene shook, telling me my soulmate was shaking his head. "Obviously, I do, Jun. You're disobeying your father. You need to be taught a lesson. God forbid you disobey your soulmate. You've always been a submissive one. This shouldn't be that difficult." 

I shook my head, watching the immoral erotic scene unfold. "No... no! Jun! You can hear me now, right? Please, kick him. Punch him. Get him away from you." I started having an anxiety attack. "Sehyoon, get me out of here! Get me back! I can't watch this, please... Please snap me out of it." I cried, closing my eyes, hoping that'd end the vision. Nothing was worse than watching my lover get abused and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Nothing would ever be worse than that. "Oh, God... Jun, I'm coming for you. I promise." I sniffled, crying with him as I came back to.

"His name is Jun?" Sehyoon asked, holding onto me. "Junho? Junseo? Juntae? There's so many different ways Jun can be a nickname."

I shook my head. "The bastard just called him 'Jun' I don't know his name still. But let's call him that for now," I said. 

I stood up, holding myself as I realized how much I needed to save Jun. It needed to happen soon.


	2. ii

Brokenhearted, I watched as my soulmate began rocking back and forth. "Sehyoon, he's gonna die before I find him... I swear to God if he does, it's over for me." I got up from the couch, finding my way upstairs to go to the room I had here. I wanted to see my mother most of all. Fuck my uncle, fuck my father. I wanted my mother and I wanted my lover to find me. I couldn't even begin to take a step in the right direction, hell, in any direction.

My father and uncle hadn't realized my time was coming. Or maybe they did so they decided it was due time to amp up the treatment they'd give me. For years, it's just been me and my father. He's not over the divorce he had with my mother and how she just up and left us. He copes with it in all the wrong ways, eventually taking his anger out on me. Sometimes, like now, he decides I'm deliberately trying to be disobedient and sends me to my uncle's where he makes me follow the rules. If I don't, my mind is fucked with as I begin to think I'm going to die. Those threats have been becoming more and more realistic. I didn't lock the door behind me as I went to the corner and sat with my back facing the door. After a punishment, I usually hide from my father or uncle and let my brain take me away. The disconnection between reality and fantasy does its best to shelter me from the harshness of what happens.

"Channie, he's not going to die. You'll find him in a timely manner. He's in Incheon right now? Let's go." Sehyoon, I presume, answered. "You need to relax. What if he can see what you see right now? What if he's having a vision?" My soul mate sniffled sadly.

He sighed. "I-I just can't fathom finding him. What if he's too broken for me to fix?"

It was my turn to sniffle. "Please... I promise I'm not. I'm not. Please help me. D-don't give up on me before we've even begun..." I held onto myself tighter, imagining it was him holding me.

There was a loud sound, snapping me halfway out of my vision. "Who are you talking to, you fucking degenerate?" My uncle was furious. I shook violently, holding myself even tighter, to the point of expecting my shoulders to break.

"Oh God, something's happening to him. I feel it. W-Why are they getting more frequent?" My soulmate asked his friend.

Before I could focus on his answer, I was thrown into the bed frame, crying out in pain. "I asked you a question, you worthless piece of shit. Who are you talking to?"

I winced, slowly gaining strength to stand up. "I-I... Myself. I was just talking to myself." I lied, preparing to take the punishment for that.

"You're absolutely ridiculous, Junhee... I'm going to get annoyed with punishing you. You know the drill." Matthew pointed at the door and I nodded, leading the way to the Black and White Room. The Black and White Room was a BDSM couple's dream and a torture chamber for anyone else. By anyone else, I mean me. It held the most intricate torture devices that were legal for commercial use today. I gulped, opening the door, walking into the room. "I'll plug in the wand then start the fire." My uncle didn't usually like to give me a rundown. That was odd of him to do so.

I took off my shirt, kneeling down on the floor in front of him. "I'm sorry, Uncle. I should've studied better. I shouldn't have argued with my dad. I should've toughened up. That's what Parks do. I'm sorry." After going through my ritual speech, I held my head down waiting for him to get ready.

It took a few minutes before I felt him push my head down a bit more. The pink-hot rod scorched my neck, hissing violently as the smell of burning flesh became prominent. I didn't cry out at all. "How high should the wand be? I think we need to go to high today. You've been a disgrace recently." I nodded, holding my head down as the wand was getting lowered and onto my back. "I'll shock you now, you'll give into the other half of the punishment and I'll shock you for three minutes and then we can send you on your way." I nodded, relaxing slightly while the jolts of electricity fired through my veins. I was so accustomed to the shock, I couldn't even pay attention to it.

After a few shocks, Uncle tugged at my pants. I nodded, sitting up a bit to pull out my belt. His hand extended out as I handed it over. Next were my actual jeans and my shirt. I handed each item over to him as he put them away.

I kept myself quiet as my uncle proceeded to let himself do what he wanted to do most for punishment. Me.

I felt disgusted with myself. I wanted to rip my skin off, grow a new epidermis. I couldn't scrub enough to get rid of the gross feeling. "You feel good, baby boy?" He asked, pushing himself up. I shook my head. It was the answer he wanted to hear. "Good, remember this. You seem to forget more and more these days. You'll feel this every time you come back to me." He took the violet wand in his hand, shocking me extensively. I kept my silence as the shocks rushed through my blood.

As quickly as it began, it was over with. I didn't rush to put on my clothes and leave. As I grabbed my bag and headed to the living room, I felt hands grab at my waist. I gasped out, freezing up again. They roamed, reaching all places that were left untouched. Thighs, hips, stomach. "I shouldn't see you here for quite some time. Do you understand me?" His hand groped at me and I whimpered, my body naturally grinding back. I bit my lip to silence myself, quietly cursing my body's reaction.

I nodded, "I understand. I'm sorry..." My uncle let me go and I walked outside, heading to the train station. My eyesight began to get blurry. I stopped for a moment and let out a painful cry. "Please! I don't know your name, except your nickname. Channie, please come find me!" I screamed. "They're going to continue. They're going to use me. T-They're gonna hurt me more. Please come help me..." A long train ride later and I was back in Daegu. My father wasn't there. Two people who were talking were there. One of them looked like my soulmate's friend. My hope was quickly shattered as the two kissed. They'd been reunited. I was still alone. After searching for a while, I did find my father. He was angrier than when I had left him. He roughly grabbed my arm, walking toward the car. "Ow, dad, you're hurting me!" I yelled, being thrown into the passenger side door. 

"What the hell is wrong with you, Junhee?" My father questioned. "Look at your pants. You didn't clean up after you were done?" He threw my body into the passenger side door again, breaking the mirror.

I shook my head. "I-It's dirt. I swear. I didn't do it today, please believe me!" My father opened the door and pushed me inside the car before getting in.

I whimpered a bit, waiting. "You still haven't learned anything, have you? I'll finish the lesson when we get home." I shook my head, whispering to myself, crying. I didn't want him to touch me. But it wouldn't matter at all. My opinion didn't matter at all.

Pulling up into the driveway was more nerve-wracking than normal. Usually, my dad didn't have to do anything to me, I'd be home closer to nightfall. Now, he has time to do what he wants to do to me. "You're to be punished, so why the fuck are you enjoying it? Are you that fucking sick, Junhee?" In an instant, I was pulled out of the car through the driver's seat. I cried out before getting a smack to the cheek. My brain slowly began transporting itself to the abyss of nothingness. I wouldn't have to experience anything, except pain maybe.

I didn't remember much of what happened, except standing up and looking down to see a lot of blood. A lot of it. "Dad, please," I mumbled. "T-Take me to the hospi- I-I won't tell anyone... Just take m-" 

I guess my dad took me. The next thing I witnessed was waking up to the white lights of a hospital room. Then my vision flashing the receptionist's desk. "I'm looking for a boy, he's in room 503, what is his name?" It was another vision from my soulmate. I glanced up at my open door. He was looking for me. I was the boy in room 503.

I bit my lip, looking at my sleeping father in the chair across the room from me. I decided that I should be whispering the answer to his question. "Park Junhee... My name is Park Junhee." He couldn't hear me and the lady wasn't telling him anyway. "Wait, why do you need to know my name? You know where I am, so come get me. Channie, please."

The vision faded out, but I continued repeating my name and telling him to come get me. Just to be safe.


	3. iii

"Chan, stop torturing yourself, the longer you wait, the closer he'll be to getting away. You don't want him to be so close yet so far away again, do you?" Sehyoon grabbed my coat and his keys. "Let's. Go. He needs you!" I sighed, getting up to follow him. I stopped walking halfway down the front steps. "What's wrong? Another vision?" Sehyoon came back to catch me if I fell.

I caught a faint image of the hospital hall. Room 5-0-something. "He's in room 5-0-something. I can't get the last number." I tried to focus. I couldn't tell if it was a 3 or an 8. But I chose 3, just to try my luck. "503, come on let's go!" I ran out to the car, getting my phone out and calling the hospital.

"Daegu West Hospital, how may I help you?" The man answered.

I cleared my throat. "Hi, I'm looking for a boy. Well, a teenager. He's in room 503, and his name is..." My voice trailed off.

Sehyoon glanced over at me. "Chan?"

I shook my head, hanging up. I started panicking even more. "I don't know his fucking name." Hopelessness came to stay with me. I wasn't going to be able to get him. He'd be alone until he died.

"Stop it," Sehni said, getting on the freeway. "What do you think his name is?" 

I thought for a moment. "I wanna think Junseo... Park Junseo." I glanced over at Sehyoon.

He shrugged a bit. "A good guess. I just hope you're right." I had such a fucking migraine, I was about two seconds away from puking. I really just wanted to save this guy. I don't want love, I don't want sex, marriage and kids. I don't want any of it. I want my soulmate safe. And if that's all that gets done, I'll be content.

"I wonder if he sees in color?" I asked softly, playing with the sleeves of my shirt. "I swear, if it weren't for you and Donghun, I would probably look like Picasso barfed all over my fucking clothes. I wonder what it'd be like to see in color again."

The way this works is quite strange. When you're 15, you lose your perception of color, the world begins to stay monochromatic in grey tones. When you turn 16, you get to start seeing the visions. Those are fully in color. This is when you can start looking for your soulmate. I was 17 right now, I think Jun might've been a few years older? His attire was definitely his own, not a school uniform. He wasn't in high school.

The first vision I had of him, his hands were shaking ridiculously. All I wanted to do was hold his hands, trying to slow the shaking down. He wasn't scared in that moment, he was just shaky. The first time I heard him cry, it broke my heart. When everything flashed a muted red tone, I knew I had to save this guy. I just want to be right.

Getting into the hospital, Sehyoon and I rushed to the fifth floor. We had to find him. "I'm looking for a boy, he's in room 503, what is his name?" I asked the receptionist.

"Shouldn't you know your company's name?" She asked, wary of the two young boys frantically looking for someone.

I shook my head. "I'm gonna sound crazy, I know. But I'm looking for my soulmate. He's in danger. His name is Park Jun... something. Jun. His name is Jun."

She stood up. "I will call security. You two have to leave." I was desperate, I wanted to pay her off, but she started dialing.

"Fine!" I snapped. "Kim Sehyoon, let's go." Sehni's eyes widened, wondering why I just full named him like that. 

I mouthed to him, telling him to name me too. "Okay, Kang Yuchan. Sorry to disturb you ma'am." We walked away, completely and utterly defeated.

Getting back to the car, Sehyoon was pissed. "Why the fuck would you name us like that? I fucking had you!" 

I furrowed my eyebrows as we got back into the car. "What the fuck do you mean, you had me? If Jun is my soulmate and if he was in room 503, he would've heard me? Heard my name?" It was foolproof.

"Except, you fucking dingus," Sehyoon yelled. "I'm not supposed to be here! I don't go here. The only public space I get to go is fucking school, you dipshit!" 

My plan was foolproof... except for him. "Oh my God, Sehyoon." I sighed. I might've just fucked up his life.

Sehyoon laid his head down on the steering wheel. "Maybe I won't get caught, who knows? But I... I saw him, Channie." My jaw dropped, tears quickly springing to my eyes. "He has black hair, an angular jaw line... I can't describe him, but I could've drawn him." If I could fix Sehyoon's Deviant status, I would. There was so much wasted talented sitting there, just because his father was a bad man. 

"Can you?" I asked softly. "Don't worry, I can cover for you, I always do."

He shook his head, disapprovingly. "Eventually, there's going to come a point where covering for me will end us both." I shrugged, not too concerned about that day. "I will draw him, okay?" Sehyoon smiled softly. "He's a beautiful person, just from the glance I caught. You're very lucky." When he let that sentence come out, he let some of his sadness come through as well.

I turned to look at him, reaching for his hand. He shook his head, keeping both hands on the wheel. I know he was hurting too, knowing he couldn't ever have what I get to have. "Thank you," I mumbled, looking out the window. 

"Those two boys were so fucking annoying?" A gruff male voice came through. Another vision. "Just like you, you'd three get along." We were literally right there. I was right.

I fell silent, trying to take a deep breath. "Channie?" Sehyoon asked, pulling into my driveway.

I let tears fall for once. "He was right there... that really was him. His dad's talking about us being annoying. He heard us." 

Just then, I heard a softer male voice. "Channie... Kang Yuchan? Couldn't you hear me? I wanted you to come in. I have to go back home with him. Please, just come save me. I don't know or care how. But please? I don't want to hurt like this anymore." It hurt more and more to know that I was right there. I needed a plan. One that wouldn't hurt anyone In the process.


	4. iv

I only had one friend. He was a place I could run to. Sometimes, especially after a hospital visit, my father let me go see him. As long as I lied to him about why I went. "Junhee, why are you doing this to yourself?" And as long as I lied, it had to be my doing. It was believable, I would talk about how suicidal I was anyway. "Everything is going to get better," he sighed.

I shook my head. "No, it won't. My soulmate is never going to find me, there's literally no hope, Donghun." I wanted to tell him why there was no hope. But what if my dad sent me back to Incheon? 

Donghun sighed. "You have to tell me what's wrong, because you're my best friend and I can tell every single time you lie. And you've been lying to me for months." The fact that he could tell broke me down. My tears were instantaneous, quickly followed by his hug.

How do you tell your best friend that your dad and his brother are sexually abusive? That your dad literally hates you so much that he stabs you in the stomach? How do you tell them any of that fucked up shit? "I'll end up as a Deviant if I tell you. And you'll think I'm dirty. You'll think I'm gross. I know I do." 

Donghun shook his head. "Never. I wouldn't think any less of you. And... I know Officials. If there's a way I can get you around it, I can. You won't become a Deviant." He was kind, but he didn't understand. I needed Channie to save me.

I sighed a little bit. "When I get in trouble with school, I get punished." That's as much as I was willing to tell him.

"Okay?" He asked confusedly, probably considering the fact that everyone gets reprimanded for bad grades. "Punished how?"

Time to change the subject. "Have you found your soulmate?" I asked softly.

Donghun really didn't want to move on, I could tell. But he needed to. "Yeah... she's honestly the sweetest thing ever. Hana." I smiled a bit, happy to see him beam with joy. "Sometimes I call her One."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why One?" The way this man started blushing, you'd swear he just told you he never stopped wetting the bed until last week.

"Because," Donghun started, groaning at his own cheesiness. "Her name is Hana. And she's my One and Only." He screamed out before covering his face with his pillow. 

I pushed my lip out to cutely pout at him. "Awww, that's just adorable! Dongie's really in love!"

He threw his pillow at me. "Stop it!" He whined. "Are you any closer to finding yours?" Donghun said, picking up his phone. We were keeping a tab on al my hints. "All you know is that he seems to be a loner, except for maybe a friend or two? He doesn't drive. Did you say high school student?" I nodded, trying to recall anymore tips.

"When I was getting my wound taken care of, I was in room 503, he was looking for me but the nurse wouldn't confirm or deny that I was there." Donghun nodded, typing it out. "I kept saying my name, repeatedly, to myself. Hoping that his visions would kick in and hear me. Hear my name. I heard his friend's name I think? I can't remember. His friend is a Kim. I don't remember hearing his name. My dad woke up and scared me. So I definitely don't remember."

Donghun seemed to be as disappointed as I was. "Can you remember any part of the friend's first name? Kim who?" I shrugged, starting to feel really defeated about this whole situation.

In fact, becoming a Deviant didn't seem too bad at this point. Surely, they live better than I do at the moment. "Kim... Seh-something?" Donghun nodded, filing it away. I checked the time and practically jumped out of my seat. "Shit, I have to go. Uhm... I'll text you maybe?" I ran out, or rather fast walked, before he could stop me.

My dad was going to kill me. When I opened the front door, I expected to be pushed into the nearest wall. That didn't happen. "Junhee?" My dad asked from the kitchen. I made my way there slowly.

"Yeah, Dad?" I was more afraid of a quiet dad than my usually loud one. When I got to the kitchen, I saw him slumped over the counter. I was gonna become a Deviant anyway, wasn't I? He was high off his ass, probably close to having a heart attack. Either I would've been a Deviant by drug abuser association... or by letting that bitch lay there and die. I looked around for all the information I could tell the paramedics as I called. He wasn't gonna drag me down in his death too.

He groaned, falling to the floor. A needle was sitting in front of him. Heroin? There was an open bottle of alcohol sitting to his left. The woman on the line heard all of it. "Check his breathing. Is he still breathing?"

I shakily checked his pulse. "No, he's not. He's been like this for so long though, I don't know if he'll bounce back from this one." She told me paramedics were on their way. I just had to keep him on his side, just in case he had a seizure. Was it bad to admit that I kind of wanted him to die? Or was it bad to admit that I kind of wanted them to safe his miserable life?

To be honest, I didn't know what would've happened if he died. I don't know if I'd stay here, where I could easily find my soulmate and finally get away, or if his brother had power of attorney over me. And if he did, would I stay here or would I move away to Incheon? "You can step back now, son." The medic took me out of my thoughts. "And uhm, let's get some Officials out here?" Fuck. Fuck, they were really going to talk about my status. 

I went upstairs to my room, calling Donghun. "Jun? What's going on?" I never called him. I always texted him. In the solitaire of my room, I broke down into tears. "Buddy, talk to me."

I sniffled, gathering myself long enough to choke out a few sentences. "My dad is dying, I think. He gets high a lot and I think he shot up and drank and like he's dying now. I think he overdosed but that's not why I'm upset." I could heard Donghun fall silent. How could this be the thing that doesn't make you upset? "He abuses me, when I get into trouble. I don't stab myself, I don't break my own arms or shatter my own kneecap? I don't burn myself. And I definitely don't fuck myself." Silent judgement was all I felt. But I kept talking. "Him and his brother are monsters, Donghun. There's Officials coming to assess everything and they'll probably make me a Deviant for this. Or they'll send me to be with my uncle in Incheon. Unless I can prove that I can be by myself? Which my father has never let me even try? I don't have my soulmate to move in with. I am fucked!" There were a few beats of silence before the line clicked, my phone beeping and letting me know the call ended. 

My jaw, my phone, my heart, and all my hope dropped. "I knew he would think I was disgusting. I'm fucked." I mumbled to myself. "Let's cut a deal, if I say my soulmate's name, can I get some sort of definitive answer? If I say it correctly?" I didn't know who was listening... or if anyone was. "His name is Yuchan, Chan? Right?" I waited for a second, closing my eyes. I heard that sometimes, especially when you're in danger and you haven't found your soulmate, saying their name can trigger them. And it can give you colored sight, but muted, if you're correct.

I opened my eyes and gasped softly. My black bedsheets were a dark blue. My grey closet door was a brown. My desk was a light mahogany color. As quickly as it came, it was going away. "Fuck okay, Yuchan. If you can hear me, go back to the hospital. I'll be outside of the ICU wing. There's a fountain in the middle atrium, meet me there. I hope your visions come to me when you're there. I hope you hear this. I need you, Channie. Junhee needs you." I blinked a few more times and the color had faded back to black and white. I hope his vision flashed red. Because I am indeed in danger. Especially in danger of losing him before we've even begun.


	5. v

I knocked on the door of my cousin's house, taking a deep breath. I stayed here when I was unsettled. Just so my mom never worried herself about me. She had to worry about so much, she didn't need to worry about me. Not with my soulmate business. "Hey," he smiled softly. "Come on in, I'm just trying to do some research."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Research on what?" I asked.

"What makes a Deviant." Donghun was an analytical mind. He could research any rules and dissect them to quickly find the loopholes to everything. "My friend, he's worried that he's gonna become a Deviant because of what his dad did. His dad and uncle."

That caught my attention. "Oh? What did they do?" Donghun shook his head.

Listen, this might be who I'm looking for. Why is he choosing now to not tell me. "It's better for everyone if you don't know." Why just me?

"Hmm... okay. Well Kim Sehyoon is worried about not being able to fix his Deviant status. He's eligible to dispute it soon, but being around me, he thinks it'll affect the outcome. Got any help for that?"

Donghun hesitated for a second. "Sure. What exactly did he do that he wasn't supposed to do?" He asked.

"Well, it's better for everyone if you don't know." He glared at me. "See how fucking stupid that sounds? Anyway, we were at the hospital together a few days ago. He's not supposed to go to the main hospital or really be outside friends with a Usual." I thought that would get Donghun's gears to grind faster. "Where is he?" I asked.

Donghun went to speak but nothing but bullshit came out. "Channie, I can't." 

I shook my head. "Why the fuck not? Okay, that is my soulmate, I have to find him before something bad happens to him!" I turned around to the door, feeling dizzy as I spun.

"Channie, bad has already happened to him," Donghun told me. "Has your vision flashed red yet? It definitely should have by now." 

I shook my head softly, holding onto the wall. My chest was tightening. He was having a panic attack. "Help me," I groaned, leaning into the wall. I had a migraine and the room was spinning. I felt like I was dying. When Donghun came up to me, I saw him in red tint. "Fuck, my vision. It's red. Donghun, what's happened to him? What's happening?" Now it was me who was having a panic attack.

Donghun thought for a second. "He's in danger... maybe he said your name!"

I wasn't understanding. "What the fuck are you on about?" Donghun sighed, reaching for his phone. 

"If you're in danger, sometimes you can take a guess on who your soulmate is. You can get some colored vision back, long enough to say anything you want them to hear. If you say their name, it triggers them. Sometimes it's a favorite smell, a favorite memory, or panic." Donghun was excited, I was struggling.

I whimpered, wanting it all to go away. "Fuck okay, Yuchan." There was his voice. He guessed my name right... "If you can hear me, go back to the hospital. I'll be outside of the ICU wing. There's a fountain in the middle atrium, meet me there. I hope your visions come to me when you're there. I hope you hear this." The end of his message is what struck tears for me. "I need you, Channie. Junhee needs you."

I nodded, taking a deep breath. "I need to go back to the hospital. He's there." I sighed.

"I'll drive." Donghun helped me up, grabbing his keys.

I wiped my face. "Junhee. Park Junhee. I was right there, why the fuck didn't I just go in?" I was feeling so guilty. I didn't know what happened, but if he got hurt again, I wouldn't forgive myself.

As we were driving, Donghun finally came clean. "His dad and uncle abuse him. I know you know that. His dad is in the hospital right now for an overdose. Jun thinks that this will put him a Deviant status. And in that case, he won't get a soulmate again, since he's older than 18 at this point. You'd be assigned a new one though, so you would be-" I cut him off.

"I'd rather go blind. I don't want to be assigned a new soulmate and I need to save him. What in the entire fuck is so difficult about that?" Donghun decided to keep quiet. That's what I thought.

He dropped me off at the side of the hospital. I had to make like three different turns to make it to the middle atrium. Was I here before him? Did he leave already? There was literally no one there. Not even the receptionist. "Junhee?" I called. "Park Junhee!" Nothing. Where the fuck was he? I ran outside, looking around. "Come on!" I yelled. "Just tell me where he is!" Anger began to manifest inside of me. Fuck this setup. Just give me him. The winds seemed to get a hold of my anguish, separating the leaves of this bush nearby. As I approached, I heard crying. My vision was starting to come into color. The amber glow of the hospital lights, the red and blue flashing lights driving away. I pulled back some leaves of the bush, unveiling a scared man, crying behind it. There was a glow around him. "Look at me, Junhee." I spoke softly, trying not to scare him.

He opened his eyes, looking up at me. "Channie?" He knew me. I nodded, smiling softly. I looked around before hiding behind the bush with him. "C-Can I ask for you to hold me?" Of course he could. I wrapped my arms around him and a warmth enveloped us. We found each other. We were matched, and we were together. Nothing could change this now.

"It's over, Junhee." I let go of him for a second, putting my hand on his stomach. "All of these things? They're done. You hear me? All of this is over." And he nodded, understanding me. 

Junhee wrapped his arms around my neck, crying softly. "Thank you," he sighed. We stayed there for what felt like forever.


	6. vi

He was here and then he wasn't. I was there, then I was here. Moments after Chan and I had found each other for the first time, fully, I was close to breaking down into tears. "Never let me go, please." I didn't care about anything. Everything my dad did to me, my uncle, my mom leaving. I didn't care. Chan was there and he saved me. They couldn't take me away from him. At least, that's what I thought.

We left the bushes since it had quickly become uncomfortable to hide behind with two people. We talked for what seemed like hours, getting to know each other. "I don't live with my parents, I live with my cousin, Donghun. Kinda. He comes home from the dorms about three days a week. I guess I live alone?" Chan asked, laughing a bit at his struggle to define it.

"It's fine," I smiled. "I get it. I live with my dad... I wish I lived with my mom." The sadness stuck out to me even.

Chan took my hand, holding it softly. "Tell me. If you can. I have you now and he's not going to hurt you again."

I smiled softly. "Well, he can't hurt me again anyway." Chan cocked his head slightly. "I came home and he overdosed. So, I'm not sure if he's gonna make it this time. Usually, he tells me to let him sleep it off, but this was so different..." Chan nodded, wiping a tear that I guess had started to fall. "Is it bad that I don't feel bad? I'm more terrified that his actions will make me a Deviant, and I won't have you to save me from my uncle." That would be my worst fear.

"No," Chan shook his head. "I saw what he was doing. Sometimes I saw it all, sometimes it stopped. I'm not sure why, but... I do know that it's okay that you don't feel sorry about it." I nodded, looking down at my lap.

I wanted to hear more about him. He seemed so mysterious. I rarely ever saw visions of him. "So," I said. "What's your story? I know you're cousins with my best friend now. But why don't you live with your parents?"

Chan shrugged. "We never got along. Every day, we used to argue about who my soulmate would be. They prayed to every god they could that it wouldn't be a man, and it pissed me off. Why was it such an issue to them? Especially when it was never their decision. They were close to making us Deviants just so we wouldn't have any issue about it, but I moved out so I couldn't be associated with them. My best friend is a Deviant. He's looking forward to his 18th birthday so he can dispute his status. But he's kinda mad at me right now," Chan sighed softly.

"You called his name out," I shrugged. "Why is that such a bad thing?" Obviously, we knew nothing about Deviants except we didn't want to become one.

Chan nodded. "He's not supposed to be in the main hospital. He can go to our public school and since that's a uniform, he doesn't stand out. But in anything else, he's supposed to wear grey. Or what he said was grey. Obviously, I couldn't see color for almost three years." Why were we segregated like that? It made no sense to me. Especially if it was Deviant by association.

At that moment, Officials approached us and a doctor walked outside. "Park Junhee?" One of the officials checked his list before holding his hand out for my identification card.

"Yes?" I asked, standing up and reaching in my pocket for my lanyard. 

The doctor came to stand next to the Official. "His father is here due to an overdose on illicit drugs." 

I was concerned but then I realized. "He fucking died, didn't he?" I asked. The doctor didn't say anything, giving me the answer I needed. "Please, wait. My mother, she's still here. Let me find her. Twenty-four hours, don't send me to live with my uncle, please." The plea deal seemed to sway the Official handling this case.

"At midnight tomorrow, you're going to be declared a Deviant." Chan stood up, taking my hand.

I looked down at our hands. They glowed softly in the night. "We're soulmates. We've found each other. Doesn't that mean he loses all previous associations? Even though his father was a drug user, he's with me now and I'm with him? Doesn't that mean that he's saved?"

The Official checked his tablet. When we've found each other, it logs into the system as a successful match. "You didn't find each other until 22:02 and his father was admitted at 20:41, so no. That's not how it works. If you would've found each other within minutes, I would've given you a pass." This bitch ass Official was pissing me off. 

I sighed a bit. "If I find my mother and convince her to let me stay by midnight tomorrow night, will I be spared the Deviant status?" The Official nodded before clapping his hands twice, telling me to hurry up.

Chan and I had looked everywhere. My mother really did not want to be found after the divorce. She'd retreated to Gyeongsan, so she wasn't even on the Daegu grid of searching. However, if I was successful in searching for her, would I be telling you that I was now applying for a housing spot in the Deviant district of Daegu?

Before Chan and I split up, he handed me a necklace with tears in his eyes. Chan never struck me as a guy to cry. I witnessed panic attacks and fits of anger, never tears. When you're inducted as a Deviant, you get to keep one thing that means a lot to you. One special Keepsake. Everything else gets shelved until you're eligible for your appeal. I chose to keep this necklace. It was a silver-plated lock. Chan sighed softly after he placed it on me, shortly before kissing me passionately. I almost had no more tears of my own to cry. Our first kiss, possibly our last, was a goodbye kiss. "Junhee, I've known you for all of a day, but promise me one thing." I nodded, wiping his tears away. " Please do not give up, okay? I'll be waiting for you. Even if I'm supposed to be matched with someone else, you are my soulmate and I will be waiting for the day that you come back to me. Okay?" I hadn't had much of a reaction. It was almost like I was dead inside. That's what this felt like, being sentenced to death. "No, no, no," Chan sighed, holding my face in his hands. "Promise me. Promise me that I'll see you again. Promise me that you'll fight. I'll fight for you, can you fight for me?"

The Official in charge of my case was pulling me away before I could respond to him. "Time to go, Park Junhee." I glanced back at Chan, watching him break down, leaning on Donghun for support.

When we made eye contact, I saw him tell me he loved me and that he was sorry. I looked down slightly before mouthing to him, "Thanks for trying anyway."

So now, I'm sitting here, heading to a foster home before they decide whether or not I need to be sent to the Deviant college dorms or Incheon with my uncle. "What'd they take your status for?" A young man asked me, causing me to turn around. "Didn't Chan find you?" How did he know?

Then it dawned on me. "You must be Kim Sehyoon?" The black-haired guy nodded. "At least I have another tether to him."

"What happened?" Sehyoon asked, sitting next to me while other kids ran around the living room. 

I shrugged softly. "My druggie father overdosed. They honestly didn't even care about the abuse toward me, just the fact that he was dealing with illicit drug addiction." Sehyoon sighed softly.

An ash blonde younger boy came up to us. "Sehni," he sighed softly. "Eunsei is being really mean to me!"

I watched a teen girl roll her eyes. "We're 14, not four, Byeongkwan, get over it." Sehyoon's jaw dropped. 

"Hey," he said sternly. "Not fair, don't do that to him." I furrowed my eyebrows. "Sometimes he gets overwhelmed and shuts down, loses a few years. Whenever he's stressed out, he acts out and is very childish. I haven't gotten much of a story out of him yet. Eunseo!" Sehyoon called to the girl. "This is my younger sister, Junhee. We hate our father equally."

I chuckled a bit. "Are we starting a Piss Poor Fathers club?" Eunseo giggled, hiding her smile. "Ah, I'm sorry. That's not appropriate."

Eunseo shrugged. "Some of us are never getting out of this shit, might as well accept it, and start acting like it." Sehyoon went to interrupt her, but she just walked away, going downstairs.

Sehyoon sighed. "I try to keep her head on straight so she can have a fair chance at appealing her status. She's almost four years younger than me, so I've been on the more mature side of accepting my life at the moment. She's basically grown up as a Deviant, so she acts like it. I want the best for her, you know? But she makes it really hard." I nodded, losing any possible words to say. "I'll show you how to keep on the good side, I promise. You'll still be able to see your best friend, and that will definitely help. You and Chan will be together again one day."

I nodded. "Are you his best friend?" Sehyoon nodded, smiling softly. "Thank you for keeping him." We exchanged a quick side hug, before heading off to the older kids' bedroom for the night. Cots on the floor, I knew my back would be hurting in the morning. I laid down on the sturdy cot, holding myself as it was colder near the floor. I just wanted Chan back. None of this was fair.


	7. vii

Kihyun and Changkyun were really on my nerves today. I'd come to realize that the elite royalty of this school got to wear different, blatantly fucking ugly, uniforms. If they so chose to. You know the CEO babies with daddy issues, of course they wanted the show they were better than everyone else. While everyone one else was stuck in red vests, which I would literally die in before I wore their vests, they had these really... ugly... chartreuse and brown striped vests. 

Just thinking about how ugly those vests were made me miss Jun. Since he was the one to give me my colored sight back, knowing these colors again made me feel hopeless. This was a class I was in without Sehyoon, just the Douches of Duchesne. When Kihyun walked in, it was like lasers stared into my soul. He found his target. Let's put it this way, I was in no mood to deal with their shit today. "Look Kihyun," I glared as he approached me. "Literally, today is not the day to fuck with me. Try me tomorrow." Kihyun scoffed before erupting into laughter. "Did I say something fucking funny?"

Kihyun just kept laughing before he took a deep breath. "The fact that you think I give a fuck," he wiped a fake tear away. "That's goddamn hilarious." And with that, my pile of books landed on the floor. One of the bindings finally ripped from the pages completely with this crash landing.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "I am literally two seconds away from ramming this desk up your fucking ass, all the way to your mouth, so your bitch can sit on your face like he normally does."

I looked up to see Kihyun's face twisted up in disgust slash "the audacity of this plebeian parasite." He nodded a bit before getting in my face. "Listen, you piece of shit." He was hovering over my desk, his hands leaning on it.

Standing up to meet him nose to nose, I rolled my eyes. "The only thing shittier than you is that fucking baby shit sweater. Get the fuck away from me."

Kihyun scoffed before realizing what I'd said. "So," he started, backing away. "Who's your soulmate?" It was none of his business and I wasn't even sure I fucking had one.

"Mind your goddamn business," I shrugged, backing away.

He got this evil glint in his eye before noticing that Changkyun was coming. "Someone found his soulmate!" Changkyun looked at me and faked a pout. "But he won't tell me who it is. Maybe he realized they weren't really worth fighting for?" Kihyun had crossed the line, finally.

With that, everything snapped within me. In an instant, I had Kihyun pinned against my desk, pummeling him. "Oh my God! Somebody get security!" Changkyun tried to jump in to help him but he wasn't strong enough to pull me off. That was one thing about me only Sehyoon could control. I was far too strong when I became aggressive. Not that I would black out, but I would definitely start to leave my body. Tunnel vision toward whoever I was hurting was common.

"Dude!" Kihyun yelled, trying to protect his head. "Fucking stop!" I turned around for a second to see if security was coming and they hadn't gotten there yet, but I noticed Sehyoon walking by. That's who I needed.

However, he wasn't going to stop me from getting a few more punches in. He was gonna stop me from killing this pompous motherfucking clown. "Oh my God, Chan! What the fuck are you doing?" Sehyoon ran in to pull me off of Kihyun. I felt my vision start to widen in perspective again. I looked at Kihyun, his nose was bleeding and so was his lip. My hands were bloodied and possibly bruised. "Get the fuck out of here, come on!" I was shaking a little bit, more from adrenaline and anger than anything else.

As I started walking away, I turned to look back at Kihyun. "Don't ever fucking talk to me about my soulmate again." Sehyoon damn near dragged me away.

"Get your ass up to the roof," He groaned, watching out for security. We took our typical backroads way up to the roof, silent the entire time. As we arrived, that's when Sehyoon started lecturing me. "What the fuck happened?" 

I took a deep breath. "I don't even know." I went to rub my eyes but realized how messy they were. Sehyoon grabbed his bottle of water out of his bag, helping me wash my hands. "He was getting on my nerves today. And as you know, I lost Jun. He asked if I realized that he wasn't worth fighting for. And I had to prove him wrong." Sehyoon sighed, grabbing a towel for me.

I dried my hands as Sehyoon started his lecture. "Don't you risk your status for anything, you hear me?" I nodded, looking down slowly. "I was going to wait until next block to tell you, but since you're shoving your fist into people's faces, I'll tell you now." I sat down on the ground, taking deep breaths to calm myself down. Sehyoon sat next to me and took my hand softly. "Junhee is safe," he said, causing me to look up. "He's safe, he's secure. And I've got eyes on him."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "How do you know this? Are you just telling me this so I don't freak out again?” He shook his head.

“He got placed in my home.” Just like that, a weight was lifted off of my chest. “I will watch over him. I will keep him honest. I will talk for the both of you. Our FaceTime calls can even be split between us.” Sehyoon took a deep breath. “You cannot lose yourself on the way back to him.” I nodded, understanding everything he was saying.

We wouldn’t be allowed to see each other but we had Sehyoon and Donghun in common. If my cousin was anything like me, he would swear to stay friends with Junhee, regardless of his status or the trouble it could cause. “What about school?” I asked. Who would be protecting him during the school day?

Sehyoon sighed. “That part...” Fuck... did we have Donghun in common at all? “College is a privilege and high school is mandatory. There are no Deviant colleges or universities. Not even online school access. So, his studies at Summit have been halted. Depending on his future status and when he can appeal? We’re looking at you graduating before he can appeal.” I didn’t want to have to know that.

“That’s a year,” I mumbled. “And when you appeal, who’s going to watch him?”

He raised his hand. “My sister and a kid who’s literally like my brother now will still live there. Besides, that’s not for a while.” I checked my phone calendar.

Sehni’s birthday was really close. “It’s in two months, Sehyoon.” His jaw dropped slightly. “Yeah... it’s getting close.”

He nodded, sighing. “I’ll still watch after him, whether my appeal is approved or not.” I glared at him. “Okay, it will be approved. All that manifesting in our destinies stuff. Can we go back to class now?” I stood up, helping him. “And can I trust you to not beat Kihyun’s ass?” 

I scoffed a little bit. “Can I trust Kihyun to back the fuck off of me? Yes I can. I beat his ass, man.” Sehyoon laughed.

“Yes,” he smiled, opening the door. “Yes you did.” I headed toward the office as Sehyoon headed toward his classroom. An Official was there with my administrator. I was fucked.


	8. viii

"Official Chae told me that I've been granted a little bit of mercy," I sighed, making bowls of noodles for everyone. "Instead of making me wait an extra long time, or leasing me a house, they'll make our appeals on the same day. So I only have to wait a couple months." I told Sehyoon as he grabbed an apple. Bowls for Eunseo, Byeongkwan, Jooheon, Minhyuk, Marie, Aubrey, and myself were sitting on the counter. "Care to help me feed everyone?" I asked.

Being in this house was... different. However, many aspects of my life had stayed the same. The foster parent here was virtually non-existent. Supposedly, this was a civilian. But he acted just like my dad. Which terrified me in more ways than one. An alcoholic. Abusive language. Who knew when he would step it up to being physical? "That's good!" Sehyoon smiled.

I smiled softly. "Here you go guys." I placed four bowls down for Jooheon, Minhyuk, Marie, and Aubrey. Sehyoon gave Eunseo and Byeongkwan theirs before I grabbed mine. "So how was your day?" I asked, walking with him into the living room to help him with homework. Being like the older brother slash guardian of the house made it easier to stay busy and on the path of good standing. Even though it had only been a day. I felt like I could keep my sanity for two months doing this.

"Well, I have to tell you this much before I actually talk about my day." I didn't like that. Sehyoon set his bag down, opening it up. "Chan was suspended today."

I sighed a bit, running my hand through my hair. "Does that affect his status?" I asked. 

Sehyoon shook his head. "Kids get suspended, it happens. But if Kihyun presses charges, there might be trouble." I cocked my head to the side. "Kihyun's this piece of shit. His father is the CEO of a company, so is his soulmate's father. Kihyun and Changkyun make our lives hell literally every day and today, Channie just snapped." He reached in his bag to grab his laptop.

"What happened?" Chan shouldn't be getting in trouble. Not now, not ever.

Sehyoon finished gathering all his supplies. "I guess Kihyun figures out that Chan could see color and then asked about his soulmate. And then when Chan wouldn't answer, he asked if his soulmate wasn't worth fighting for. And then he attacked him."

My eyes widened. "Kihyun attacked Chan?" Sehyoon shook his head and my jaw dropped. "Chan attacked Kihyun? Over me?" As good as that should've made me feel, it only made me feel worse.

"Yep," he sighed. "Kid lost his mind on him. I told him that you guys will be able to keep in touch." I thanked him for that, sighing in relief.

I didn't know what I felt about all of this yet. I didn't quite feel hopeless but I wasn't trying to keep my hopes up either. Here I was, back in a situation where I wanted to be saved from. But there wasn't a way to save me. "Sehyoon," our foster parent came from his basement abode. "Why the fuck are you late today?" This is the first time I've seen him since I was brought here the other night.

Sehyoon visibly changed. Timid, apprehensive. "I was getting extra help on my homework. Today's lesson was really confusing."

Glaring, Mr. Seo started to approach us. “What are they eating?” Looking at the kids.

“Where did you get those noodles?” Sehyoon mumbled to me.

I came up with a lie really quick. “I didn’t touch the packages in the pantry, if that’s what you’re asking. Minhyuk and Jooheon had a class experiment today with them and they brought home a small case of noodles. The teacher handed them out.”

Seo scoffed. “Already accepting enough charity, they’ve got to accept more? Tell them to take it back. There’s kids who want for that shit. Sehyoon, come see me after you do your homework.” Once Seo was back in the basement and the door slammed, Sehyoon let out a shaking sigh before breaking down into tears.

“What... what does that mean?” I asked softly, afraid of our stories being far too similar.

As I placed my hand on his back, rubbing softly, he looked up at me through wet lashes. “At least you had a soulmate to save you for at least a few hours. At least you had a chance at being loved.” And knowing that we were too similar hurt my heart, more for Sehyoon than me. Had I been hurt and severely changed by what my father and uncle did? Yes. But Sehyoon, I don’t think he’s ever been okay. I was 19 years old, Sehyoon was almost 18. My parents divorced three years ago. His parents died ten years ago. He’s been here for ten years, there’s no telling how much he’s suffered. Not unless I ask.

Judging by his reaction, I didn’t think it was smart to ask at the moment. “Is there anything I can help with?” I asked softly. Sehyoon sighed, looking down at his work. 

“I uh,” he sniffled, wiping away his tears. “I’m not really good with the words for history sometimes. We have an essay to turn in. And... yeah. We had to pick a country and learn a century of their history. I picked the United States and there’s so much shit that happened between 1900 and 2000, but I have to write as if I lived in those times.” I nodded, understanding his assignment.

Since I learned that Deviant colleges weren’t a thing, I really started to miss school. “So you can talk about the environment you lived in. How times changed for you. All of that stuff.”

After 30 minutes, Sehyoon snapped at me. I kept editing and re-editing his papers. “What the fuck, dude I’m just gonna give up.” I shook my head, leaning in to point out what he thought was another mistake.

“I’m editing everything so heavily to keep you up here with me,” I admitted. “There’s no more notes for this one, it’s perfect. What else do you have to work on?” Sehyoon nodded softly, grabbing more work he had.

We ended up working on everything he had for about two hours. But him going to Seo was inevitable. I was nervous for him. I didn’t want to let him go alone, but he told me how he got in even more trouble when Byeongkwan followed him downstairs one day. I had to let him. 

Waiting for him, I decided that I needed to tell someone. I grabbed his phone, going to find Chan’s number and stood outside, making a FaceTime call. “Sehni, what’s u-“ Chan paused when he noticed it was me. “Oh God, Juni. Are you okay? What’s going on?” 

I looked behind me, trying to make it quick and quiet. “I need you to mute yourself.” He nodded, doing so. “Are you with Donghun and is he in the room?” He nodded again, waving Donghun closer. “Ask your friend how you get a hearing date moved up. I want to know what would make them actually try to remove a Deviant status. I’m in a house full of Deviant kids. There’s eight of us here. Sehyoon’s with our foster dad, Seo. He’s not safe. I don’t think anyone here is safe and I need us out of her-“ Someone grabbed the phone from me and I jumped, quickly putting my hands behind my head.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Sehyoon asked, hanging up. “Are you fucking crazy? Why the fuck would you tell Chan that? He’s gonna bother me constantly about it and the only reason you know is because you saw. You saw me being afraid. Chan never sees that and he’s never going to see that. My business is not yours to fucking tell all around fucking town.”

I shushed him. “Sehyoon, just tell me this.” I went to speak but he shook his head.

“No!” He yelled. “I’m not telling you anything else! You’re just gonna tell Chan again! I get he’s your boyfriend or whatever, but don’t tell him something that doesn’t have shit to do with you. You’re not helping! If anything, Seo’s gonna find out and I’m gonna get treated ten times worse than before.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, asking my question anyway. “Are you protecting anyone in there?” I asked. “Has he hurt anyone else? The girls? Byeongkwan? Min and Joo?” Sehyoon glared at me.

There was a slap across my face as he turned back around. “Keep your fucking mouth shut.” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. I had to do something. I didn’t do anything for myself, I had to do something for them.


	9. ix

"Holy shit," Donghun sighed. "What do you think Jun meant?"

I shook my head. "If it's anything like the visions, what Jun went through... Donghun, I would have to kill someone." He raised his eyebrows in concern.

He took a second, deciding if he wanted to ask. "What was that, if you can tell me?" I guess he wanted to ask.

I bit my lip. I didn't want to be crude and harsh, but I didn't want to beat around the bush either. "His uncle and his father used to abuse him. In literally every way." Donghun sighed softly.

"What the fuck?" He was upset for multiple reasons. All the same reasons that I was upset. Why do people do this, for one. Why did no one care, secondly. And finally, why didn't they tell us?

Donghun pulled out his phone, calling someone. "Hello?" The voice called.

"Hey, Official Shin." I sighed in relief. "I have a question for you."

Hoseok answered back. "Personal or Official?"

Donghun bit his lip before replying. "What extenuating circumstances would make you guys move up a hearing date for Deviant Appeals?" He asked.

Hoseok sighed a bit. "This is what I hate about the job. So, we have levels. The highest level is the most dangerous level. Kids are coming to school literally traumatized or beaten. The middle level is where they haven't eaten in a while and it's kind of obvious by how they react to food. The lowest level is kind of like misdemeanor type offenses? Like if they were constantly getting in trouble in school. We'd do a wellness check at the home."

I shook my head. "What if they're being abused?" I asked.

"Well," Hoseok sighed. "The victims need to come forth about that."

And instantly, I was pissed off. "Abuse victims... told not to tell anyone or they'll be hurt worse... have to tell you this? Not their friends who suspect something's going on?" What kinda backwards fucking thinking was that?

"I don't make the rules, I wish I did." He said, defeated.

I slammed my hand on the table. "Then fucking make them! Nothing's stopping you from being insubordinate." Donghun put his hand up, telling me to relax. "All you have to do is fucking go to that house and see what goes on? My best friend and my soulmate are there and if they're being hurt, I'm gonna fucking hurt someone twenty times worse. So I'd figure it the fuck out if I were you, Wonho. I don't want to hear an excuse. Now this is fucking personal." I hung up the phone before Donghun could apologize for me.

"Kid," Donghun sighed.

I stopped him right there. "I'm not a fucking child, don't even." I cut my eyes at him before rolling them.

He reciprocated my attitude. "Alright, bitch. I'm still your older cousin, remember who you're fucking talking to, alright? I'm not one of your pussy ass classmates. You and I went rounds as kids and I haven't grown any weaker," Donghun shrugged. I bit my lip, closing my eyes. "Now, you need to chill out. You're gonna end up in that house with them."

Suddenly, that light bulb lit up in my head. "That's it!" I took his phone to call Wonho back.

"What's it?" Donghun asked. Then he got it. "Oh. Oh hell no. Chan don't do that!"

Wonho answered the phone again. “What?” He asked.

“Can you possibly fake me being a Deviant for a week? I’m suspended from school. That can be my avenue. Just for a week?” I heard Wonho hesitate. “No, listen! It can be a beyond scared straight type program. This can just be what I’ll experience being a Deviant. But I’ll be in their house, watching what happens. And I can report it. When my week is up, I can just say I’m being transferred to another house. Please! This can be you making the rules!”

Donghun scoffed, not believing I was crazy enough to do this. He had me fucked up if he really thought I wouldn’t. “You’re emancipated aren’t you?” Wonho asked. Yes the fuck I was. “Alright. I can’t even ask anyone else’s permission... I’ll start paperwork. I’ll say you’ve been insubordinate way too much lately, but you have a bright future. I have to show you why you can’t go down this road of being a Deviant.” I smiled widely, thanking Wonho. He was gonna come by tomorrow. Perfect. Enough time for me to calm Donghun: the mother hen.

“You’re not fucking doing this,” he started.

I shrugged. “Are you my mama?” He shook his head. “My daddy?” 

He cringed. “Literally never call me that again in your life. No, I’m not your parent. But I’m your family and so care about you and I don’t need you to see something you shouldn’t.” I almost laughed.

“Anything I’m going to see? It’s all shit I have seen.” I admitted. “Be happy that Hana only had to deal with bullies. Bullies she could take a break from. Jun couldn’t get a break from his. He lived with them. And if him and Sehyoon are living with another, I need them to not.” He tried to fight me on it again. “You’re literally not changing my mind! Please don’t try.” Tears came to my eyes. “I need to save my best friend, my soulmate. Don’t try to stop me!”

Donghun put his hand up again, calming me down. “Why are you like this?” He asked. “You fall apart when you think you can’t save someone. You’re aggressive all the time. Something changed in you from when we were kids and I don’t like it. Why are you so confrontational?” I sniffles a bit, wiping my tears.

I shrugged, grabbing my bag so I could back up the stuff I bring for staying over. “Maybe I’m just tired of the bullshit and I know that I have some type of power to stop it. If I can help the people I care about, if that’s all that my life amounts to? I’ll die happy with that fact. That I did something when everyone else sat their ass on their hands and waited on the world to change. If everyone’s sitting on their hands, who’s gonna make that change?” I walked away to the guest room to pack. I needed to see for myself what was going on.


	10. x

Sehyoon hasn’t talked to me, hasn’t even looked at me. I felt really bad, he didn’t have to keep up the silent treatment. I was all alone here, taking care of six kids all of a sudden. As I was starting to wake up the kids, there was a knock on the door. “Who’s that?” Sehyoon asked, heading downstairs. “I swear to God if it’s an Official for me...”

I rolled my eyes. “I said I was sorry, it’s not going to be an Officio for yo-“ Sehyoon opened the door and I couldn’t believe my eyes. “You said the suspension wouldn’t make him a Deviant.” Sehyoon looked at me before turning back to Official Shin and Chan, of all people.

“He’s not officially a Deviant... yet.” Official Shin looked around. “Your foster parent please?”

Sehyoon couldn’t believe his eyes. “Uhm... y-yeah.” He went to go get Seo.

Chan couldn’t look me in the eye. “Channie... what’s going on?” He sighed, lifting his head. “You know not to get yourself into trouble if we have any chance at being together again.” And that’s why he couldn’t look me in the eye. 

Seo came to the door. “How can I help you, Official Shin?” He asked.

“You’re to keep this boy for a week. He’s to learn what it’s like to be a Deviant. It’s a pet of a new program we’re trying out for kids who are insubordinate.” Chan scoffed, shifting away from Official Shin.

I furrowed my eyebrows as he trudged inside. “I’m not a fucking kid, but okay.”

Shin chuckled. “Yeah, okay kid.” Chan turned to strike him, but he put his hand on his taser to let him know he wasn’t above shocking the shit out of him. Chan relaxed, standing off to the side. “Good luck with that one. Kid’s about two Derelictions away from getting a jail sentence.” As Official Shin walked away, the grey school bus pulled up. 

“Kids!” I called, heading toward the stairs. “Time to go!” One by one, they all came downstairs for a hug and few cents from me so they could get something on their stomachs. “Marie, Aubrey, have fun at recess today. It’s supposed to be really nice. Don’t fall in the grass too much, okay?” Next were our middle schoolers. “Jooheon, Minhyuk, Byeongkwan. Let me know how your projects turn out today.” And lastly, our alternative high school student. “Eunseo, please try to end today on at least yellow?” She rolled her eyes before walking out the door. 

Seo noticed that Sehyoon wasn’t going anywhere. “Why are you getting the fuck out of here?” He asked.

Sehyoon shrugged. “Today’s not my school day. It’s a teacher work day.” Seo nodded before heading in front of the couch.

“Mother May I, Jackass, and... what the hell is your name?” Seo asked Chan.

Chan scoffed. “Your worst fucking nightmare, and who the fuck are you?”

Seo rolled his eyes. “Pussy. That’s your name from now on. Sit on the fucking couch. All of you.” Sehyoon and I sat down without a fight.

“Wow,” Chan smiled. “Named me after something you can’t get. You must want me then, huh?” My eyes widened as I went to hit his leg, telling him to shut the entire fuck up.

Seo shrugged. “Don’t need it, that one right there works just fine for me.” Sehyoon sunk into the couch, trying to disappear from the situation. “Now this is what I want done. Jackass, since you don’t have school today, go find something to clean in the basement. Now.” When Seo snapped his fingers, Sehyoon hurried downstairs. “Mother May I, take Pussy and show him how I like the kitchen cleaned. Jackass will help with the rooms upstairs in 30 minutes.” Seo snapped and I stood up, but Chan stayed sitting down. “Hey, Dickhead. Let’s go.”

Chan stayed sitting down. “Am I a dick or a pussy, make up your fucking mind.” I wanted to shrink a way and die at this point. He was going to get us killed.

“You’re a little bitch at the moment, get your ass in the kitchen.” He went to hit Chan and I jumped.

Chan stood up, getting in his face. “You put your hands on me I swear to God I’ll kill you, motherfucker.” Seo chuckled, backing away. “Who’s the pussy now?” 

“You and I are gonna have fun together,” Seo started to go downstairs.

I dragged Chan in the kitchen before he could say something. “What the fuck are you doing, Chan?” I asked, concerned with his erratic behavior. “This is not like you. I don’t like this.”

Chan rolled his eyes. “You don’t even know me, don’t act like you do. We met for a few hours and then we had to pretend the other didn’t exist.” He turned the sink on, starting the dishes.

“No. You have to have one sink of hot, soapy, bleach water and one sink of cold water.” I started setting up. “And hand me that bucket.”  
He furrowed his eyebrows, picking it up for me.

Chan looked around. “Where’s a mop?” He asked. I pointed at a cup with toothbrushes in it. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

I shook my head. “I clean up every day. It takes me about 20 minutes to just do the floor. So come do the dishes. I’m gonna try for 15 minutes today.” I finished with the bucket and took it to the floor. I didn’t talk when I did this at all.

“You clean every single day?” I nodded. “And what does Sehyoon do?” I didn’t want to answer. But what could it hurt at this point?

I looked up at him. “You’ve seen my life. At least I had you to save me for a few hours.” Chan nodded, turning back to the dishes. 

After 30 minutes, the kitchen was spotless and Sehyoon was coming upstairs to help clean the bedrooms. Chan and I followed him, listening to him take charge. “I’ll clean Byeongkwan’s cot. I think he had a nightmare last night. Uhm... Chan, can you go ahead and get all the dirty clothes up and Jun you can strip the other cots and fold the blankets up and put them in their cubbies? And then fold up the roll-aways?” I nodded, doing as i was asked.

“What took you thirty minutes to clean, Sehni?” Chan asked.

Sehyoon was ignoring him. “Chan, don’t.” I wanted.

Chan wouldn’t let it go. “His beer bottles? Empty the trash can with the condoms in it?” Why was he doing this?

“Shut the fuck up, Chan.” Sehyoon said through gritted teeth.

He dropped it for the moment, leaving an awkward silence. “You’re lying to us, Chan,” I said, folding up the cots. “You’re not here for a program.” Chan shrugged, taking all the clothes to the laundry room. “He’s being weird,” I sighed.

Sehyoon turned to look at me. “Do you think any of this is remotely normal? You’ve been here for less than a week, I’ve been here for years. This is not your fucking normal. This is my normal. And I don’t know why the fuck either of you want that so bad.” With that, he went back to cleaning. I just kept quiet, thinking to myself about why Chan was here.


	11. xi

After cleaned the house from corner to corner, Seo let us all go to the park. Well, not let us. He demanded we get the fuck out of his house and out of his sight. He wanted Sehyoon and Jun to take this dickhead away from him before he killed me. It was a silent walk to the park that we were allowed to go to. Officials covered every edge of the park, PSA speakers on plenty of light poles. It wasn't safe to talk here. Everything was heavily monitored. 

Sehyoon quietly led us to a park bench that was away from everyone. No one bothered to follow us out there. "Alright," I spoke up, a little too loudly for Sehyoon's liking. He shushed me just as quickly as I opened my mouth. "Okay sorry," I whispered. "But what the fuck is Seo doing to you, Sehni?" I asked.

Jun tapped my hand, telling me not to bother. "What exactly happened with your classmate, Chan?" He asked instead. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Sehyoon comes here to listen to his music. Draw. He doesn't talk out here. No one does."

I glanced over at Sehyoon to see him turn on his music and pull out his sketch pad, sitting on the ground. "Uhm, I was on edge, worried about you. And he came in, ready to bother me and I warned him not to. He thought it was funny that I expected him to listen. And when he asked about my soulmate, where you were, he also said some shit about you not being worth the fight. So I beat his ass." I sighed, taking Jun's hand. 

Jun stiffened a bit, losing his gaze toward me. I looked up to see an Official nearby. "Let go." I quickly dropped his hand before Jun reached for his phone.

The Official turned toward another set of people, clearly making out. She separated the two girls, causing each of them to scream for each other. "Let her go!" One of them tried kicking at the Official. That led to her being tased to gain back the control. The scene was terrifying. 

"Oh my God," I gasped. "Is this what happens when Deviants get together?" Jun nodded, sitting in silent disgust for the events unfolding.

Three more Officials were flocking to help keep these two girls apart. "It's basically suicide to come out in public and have a public display of affection. And fighting the Officials can lead to death sometimes. They might hit someone a little too hard or tase someone too long, it leads to a life threatening seizure. This is the third day I've been here and the ninth time I've seen them break up couples. I’m convinced that people who do this are trying to die.”

Sehyoon took off his headphones. “They are. And I promise you, the Officials are grateful for it. The less Deviants that populate society, the more well off humanity is. Although, they kill us in the most inhumane ways.” With that, he put his headphones back on.

We watched for at least 45 minutes. It was insane to me how desensitized they both were. Jun hadn’t even been here for a full week and he didn’t react to this at all. It took all my power to not jump up and get myself killed too. “It’s almost three, Sehyoon.”

I furrowed my eyebrows as they both got up. “What happens at three?” I asked, standing up as well. 

“School ends, I get the kids off the bus and walk them home.” I nodded, following them to the bus stop. We made it just in time.

Aubrey and Marie were the first two off, jumping into Jun’s arms. “Hi Juni!” Marie smiled.

Jun smiled back, picking her up. “Hello sweetheart! How was school today?” Aubrey took his free hand.

“It was good! We did painting.” Aubrey kept jumping for joy. They were adorable.

Eunseo and Byeongkwan came off next, the latter rushing up to Sehyoon’s side. “Uh oh, you have a bad day today kiddo?” He asked, hugging him.

Byeongkwan nodded before pulling away. “Really bad... it was a PE day.” Sehyoon sighed, keeping him close.

I shot him a look, asking what that meant. “He’s bullies relentlessly as it is, but the boys in PE are ruthless with him.” Eunseo pulled out her phone, smiling at her screen. “Is that a smile I see? Who is it?” 

Eunseo rolled her eyes. “Just this boy.” That wasn’t any sort of decent music to Sehyoon’s ears.

“Hey,” Sehyoon said. “I don’t want you dealing with any boys. Or girls. No one. Wait until you’re 18, like me.” His words were disregarded as she started walking ahead.

Minhyuk and Jooheon were the last to get off. “What’s up guys?” I asked, trying my hand in being the person they talked about their day with. 

They both shrugged. “Our computer programs teacher literally hates us for no reason. We both got a lunch detention for asking a question.” That was concerning to me too. “She probably knows what we are.”

As we all starting walking home, I was feeling so oblivious to the world they’ve been living in this entire time. I still wasn’t scared or anything. But I was determined to deflect some of Seo’s hatred and physical violence toward me so I could make a report. If I could make a report for myself, they would be forced to ask everyone in the house what they’d experienced. So many hoops to jump through just to protect children. Fucking minors who need all the protection they could get. The adults of the world have no problem fucking up children and creating more monsters.

Dinner was... non-existent. The kids had brought home their lunches from the day to eat. And those lunches never held me even until the end of the school day. I knew they didn’t hold them. Seo came upstairs to yell at us for being so loud. “Will you all shut the entire fuck up, eat and go to bed? I’m so sick and tired of you little shits in my fucking house.”

This was my chance. “And what are you gonna do if we don’t?” I asked, standing up. “These kids are having fun.” Seo’s laugh was maniacal, followed by a heavy smoker’s cough.

“Think I give a fuck if they’re having fun?” He asked. “Look here, you white knight motherfucker. Stop trying to save these hopeless fucking cases. Stay in a child’s place with the rest of them.”

I laughed. “Look here, you miserable cocksucker. Stop trying to act like you’re such a civilian saint. You belong in rehab and a jail cell. So you could try being someone’s bitch for a change.” That was it. One punch and I was out. 

When I came to, Sehyoon and Jun were talking, Sehyoon was crying. “He’s fucking crazy. This is not my best friend.”

I groaned, making my consciousness known. “Chan?” Jun asked. I nodded softly, a pounding headache following the slight movements. “I hope you’re okay. Because we can’t call for an ambulance. Seo took our phones until morning.” I was instantly enraged.

“What the fuck,” I snapped. Sehyoon shushed me quickly.

He sighed, wiping his tears. “You’re responsive, we can’t call. Just promise me you’ll stop testing him. I can take what he gives out, I don’t need you hurt trying to protect me.” That wasn’t acceptable for me, but this was Sehyoon begging me.

So I nodded, wondering where the plan went on from here.


	12. xii

When Seo's fist connected to Chan's temple, I swore he was dead. There was no way he wasn't. "Oh my God!" I screamed, covering the girls' eyes.

Sehyoon rushed over to Chan, teaching for his phone. Seo grabbed it before coming at as for me. "What the fuck? Seo, you could've killed him!" He just shrugged.

"Let Mother take him upstairs, you come with me." Why was he getting punished for Chan's mouth? It made no sense to me. 

I dared to ask. "What did Sehyoon do? What are you punishing him for?"

Seo glared at me. "Give me one of them." He looked at everyone, trying to decide. I hid the girls behind me and Byeongkwan latched on to my side. Eunseo looked at what I was doing and hid Jooheon and Minhyuk behind her. 

"What are you doing?" Sehyoon asked. I wonder if we all had the same idea.

Eunseo shook her head. "I can protect them just as much as you can, Sehni." We did indeed have the same idea.

Seo looked at her. "Oh?" He chuckled. "Different from my usual, but you could most definitely do."

For the first time in his life, and I could tell this by the way his body and voice shook, Sehyoon charged at Seo, pushing him as much as he could. "You touch her, I'll kill you my damn self." Seo laughed, more at Sehyoon's attempt to be intimidating.

"Any other takers?" He asked. “While I’m waiting for Jackass, every phone better be in that drawer when I come back upstairs.” 

I handed Eunseo the girls. "Sehyoon, go over there in front of her." Before he could argue it, I snapped at him. "Now!" After passing Eunseo my phone, I stepped forward to Seo. "Me, bitch."

That was all it took for him to grab me by my hair, dragging me downstairs. "I've had it with you, thanks for making it easier on me." I didn't even fight. As much as I hated this, knowing I never got away from it, I couldn't let him hurt any other kid here. The more we made it apparent that I was lucky to have Chan as my soulmate to save me for a few hours at least, the more I realized no one was saving Sehyoon.

Getting downstairs, it was a mess. There was no way Sehyoon "cleaned it" earlier today. "Seo," I mumbled. "Why do you do it?" I wanted to know why this is what people do.

Seo chuckled, looking at me with hungry eyes. "You take in these worthless pieces of shit and they all trust you to do the right things, but that's boring. I do it because I can you dumbass, did you want a deeper answer?" I wasn't even sure what I was expecting either. "I don't even feel like doing what I usually do. So just get on your knees, take it, and go back upstairs."

I looked around, trying to piece together what he did normally do. I noticed blood on the carpet. That meant one of two things, and I hoped neither was true. Nevertheless, I did what Seo wanted and as fast as I could. Feeling disgusted with myself, I sat back away from him. "Can I go now?" I asked softly.

Seo shrugged, fixing his pants. "Get the fuck out of here, I don't want to see your face anymore." As I stood up, he chuckled. "Goddamn, you're better anyway. Watch out, I might switch you two out." As sickening as that was, if I was protecting everyone else, that would be fine with me.

I made my way upstairs, taking deep breaths to avoid being sick. "Jun," Sehyoon piped up, seeing me make my way to the upper level.

"Where's Chan," I sighed softly. 

Eunseo looked at Sehyoon, kind of uncertain in how they should talk to me. "Upstairs? Older kids' bedroom." I nodded, heading up there, trying to put my mind elsewhere.

Someone followed behind me, Sehyoon probably. "Why are you doing this?" He asked, following me upstairs. "Why would you let Seo take you like that? I can handle it."

I turned to him. "That's not something you should have to learn to handle. You called this your normal and it shouldn't be." I wanted him to let it die. And I could tell he was actually grateful. But guilty that he felt so.

We watched the time. Every half hour we were checking to see if Chan was still breathing. Around the three hour mark after he'd been hit, Sehyoon started losing it. "Damn it!" He whined, tears starting to pour.

"Sehyoon?" I asked, turning my attention to Chan. "Is he okay? Is he breathing?"

He nodded, struggling to breathe himself. I got up, helping him straighten his torso. "This isn't him, Jun." I furrowed my eyebrows as Sehyoon pulled himself up to stand. “Once he turned 15, he lost it. Having a soulmate ruined him. So many people love this system but it drives people crazy and others get punished for something their families did with not chance at change. Knowing he couldn’t find you drove him crazy every single day and now? He's fucking crazy. This is not my best friend."

As I was going to respond to him, I heard a grown come from behind me. "Chan?" I spun on my heel to face him. He nodded softly, groaning again in pain. "I hope you're okay. Because we can't call for an ambulance. Seo took our phones until morning." Chan was instantly enraged.

"What the fuck," He snapped. Sehyoon shushed him quickly.

He sighed, wiping his tears. "You're responsive, we can't call. Just promise me you'll stop testing him. I can take what he gives out, I don't need you hurt trying to protect me." I glanced at him, hoping he’d let me take over the hurt. Chan just silently agreed.

I ran my fingers through his hair softly. “Can I get some aspirin?” Sehyoon got up to get it.

“You have to get it together, Chan.” He sighed, laying his head in my lap as I stroked his hair. “Please get it together.” I wasn’t sure what he was doing but he had to stop before he made everything worse. He’s so impulsive and that’s dangerous for us all.


	13. xiii

The next day, I kept my mouth shut. I was very certain that I had a concussion, grade three. I just took today to observe my surroundings. Jun and Sehyoon all but begged me to shut the fuck up today anyway. Breakfast was quiet, almost silent. Jun prepared microwave egg scrambles for everyone. He would stop the microwave a second before it beeped with each round of scrambles. Sehyoon made his way outside to watch for the bus coming down the street. No one was talking, and it wasn't a groggy, barely any sleep shared between all of us quiet. It was a "if he hears a pin drop, it's our asses" silence.

A few minutes later, Sehyoon came to the door, giving Jun a signal. "Alright kiddos, throw your trash away and go get Sehni." The system they had confused me for a moment. "I'll let you know once the kids get on the bus." They trudged out of the house in age order, youngest to oldest. Jun led them out. Marie, Aubrey, Jooheon, Minhyuk, Byeongkwan, and Eunseo, who was then followed by me.

Jun said his goodbyes to everyone, Sehyoon sharing a saddened look with us. He was leaving to be alone at school, an easy target for every dickhead there. "Hey," Sehyoon said, standing on the first step of the bus. He was concerned, it wasn't hard to tell.

"Shoganai," Jun smiled softly. "I'll be okay. You will be okay. I got it here. Tebanasu." Seeing Sehyoon here, he definitely was not the kid he made himself out to be. Every move he made here was backed by uncertainty. 

Sehyoon nodded softly, tapping the railing a bit. "Shoganai." The bus doors closed behind him and off the kids went to school.

The sudden Japanese threw me off. "What did you just tell him?"

Jun chuckled a bit. "Every day, he worried that Seo would pull something with me. And now that he has, I know his anxiety about it spiked. I would tell him to not worry about it and that I was just going to let whatever happen happen. Shoganai means that it can't be helped. It's inevitable. And that's not to tell him to give up, but that's to tell him to let it go. Tebanasu. What can he do while he's away anyway?" I nodded softly, following him back to the house. "I told him these things in Japanese because Seo doesn't speak it. He speaks Korean and English, it would be really hard to tell Sehyoon not to worry. I don't know much, but I know enough to hide things I wanna say." He checked the time. "Seo actually leaves the house today. He goes to work for a little bit, until they notice he's too hungover to function." How this man became a foster parent for Deviants,  
I don't know.

"Why did Sehyoon go outside before everyone else?" I asked softly.

Jun made us some cereal, sitting down to the table with the bowls filled up with everything except milk. "He told me that even before there was everyone else, he'd stand out there to keep the bus driver from honking and waking Seo up." Jun grabbed the milk and opened it. It wasn't even a second before he was groaning in disgust. "I swear to God, they could've put us on a farm in the middle of nowhere. Maybe we'd have some food around here. Looks like it's just gonna be dry cereal today." 

I nodded a bit, taking a few pieces into my mouth. "Well, luckily you guys won't be here much longer?" I was hopeful that everything I was reporting to Wonho would get them out before Sehyoon's birthday. Because the way I watched them, the way Sehyoon self destructed here? One of them wouldn't make it to his birthday.

"Date's still three months away," Jun shrugged. "I'm just trying to make it until tomorrow. And I'll say the same thing tomorrow." As he sat down to the table, Seo came upstairs.

He looked between the two of us before settling on rolling his eyes at me. "You guys get twenty-five dollars. What do you need?" I kept my mouth shut and my head in my cereal bowl.

Jun got up, looking under the cabinets. "Rice, chicken, cream of chicken soup, milk, cereal, and eggs." He leaned with his back against the counter, away from him.

Seo nodded, typing it into his phone. "I'm not getting soup if it's too much." 

Jun reciprocated his nod. "That's fine." As Seo turned to walk away, Jun started to wash the dishes. Can I just make it clear how much I hate this motherfucker? He knew what Jun was doing and he waited until he felt safe enough to turn around before coming up behind him.

"This house better be fucking spotless when I come back, you hear me?" I could tell Jun was rigid without being able to see him well. He dropped the small ramekin he was washing back in sink. "You'd better be glad that shit's plastic." With that, he hit Jun's ass and turned to leave, making eye contact with me. "You better not say a goddamn word to me, you little fucking pussy."

Jun quickly turned his head toward me, telling me not to say anything with the glare he gave me. I nodded, keeping my head down once again. We stayed put waiting to hear Seo drive off. 

"God, I wanna fucking vomit." I rolled my eyes. Jun glanced back at me and I saw the tears in his eyes.

Before he could say anything, he choked back a sob as well as inadvertently triggering his gag reflex. "Oh God, I am gonna fucking vomit." He rushed upstairs to the bathroom, just in time to empty the contents of his stomach. I shut the water off in the kitchen before making my way upstairs to help him. "If he didn't fucking die, I wouldn't be in this fucking situation. How does he get to fucking ruin my life even in death? He's a fucking psychopath, it's not rocket science to figure out why my mom didn't want him..." 

I could hear the ellipses in his voice. "But?" I asked as I reached for a wash cloth, drenching it in freezing cold water and wringing it out.

"But why didn't she want me?" He whimpered, before breaking down into tears. "That's what's so hard to figure out. She left me with him. She knew how he was. He hurt her and she knew he could hurt me. She should be a fucking Deviant too. An accessory to child abuse." I ran my hand through his hair to soothe him. "How do you fucking leave your goddamn child with a fucking psychopathic bastard?"

I didn't have the words to fix him. When he had calmed down, he got up off the floor to brush his teeth and wash his face again. "Fuck her," I said finally. "I know it's not enough but she can't see how amazing you are? She can't hold herself responsible for you? Fuck her." I slowly began to close the gap between us, wrapping my arms around his waist lightly, silently asking for permission to hold him like this. 

"Yeah," Jun whispered softly, placing his hands on my waist firmly. "You're right," he said, glancing back and forth between my eyes and my lips. 

I glanced out of the bathroom. "He doesn't keep cameras around, does he?" Jun shook his head, giggling softly. "Well then," I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, hopefully igniting his passion. "Do what you want to."

Jun giggled softly. "Well, I uh... I don't know." I furrowed my eyebrows slightly. "I've never had a choice, so I'm not sure what I want to do." I nodded softly.

"Wait," I pulled away for a second. "You've never had sex?"

Jun shook his head. "Nothing I wanted." Then it hit for him. "Wait, you have?" I bit my lip a little bit and glanced toward the ceiling to plead the fifth. "How are you not a deviant?" He asked.

I honestly had no idea. "I guess I'm good at getting what I want and being secretive about it." I leaned in for a kiss, this time landing on Jun's lips.

We kissed for a good few moments. "Mm," Jun pulled away. "Speaking of getting what you want and being secretive about it..." Fuck, he was about to be nosy again. "What are you doing here?" I didn't know if I should've told them or not. Wonho told me not to, but I didn't feel good about lying to either of them.

"I worked out a deal with my Official," I said. "I'm in a scared straight program. If this is successful, they'll implement it more." There's way more to it but I didn't really lie. I just omitted most of the information.

What was really happening? I was documenting everything that happened in this house. Seo knocking me unconscious was enough to trigger Wonho to come with a Commissioner. The Commissioner would be able to immediately get the kids out of here. They'd deal with the foster agency later. They couldn’t wait two more months. I got a text on my phone that proved it to me. “Oh my God,” I gasped softly. “How do Deviants travel? Fast?”

Jun grabbed his keys and wallet. “I’m assuming there’s a problem?” He started for downstairs.

“It’s Sehyoon,” I sighed. “He’s having a breakdown and I’m usually there to calm its own before it gets this bad.”

I followed him outside as he locked the house up. “Well, that fast travel? Yeah, it’s called running.” I shook my head. 

I went into my emergency contacts. “Yeah, fuck that. We aren’t gonna make it if we run.” After one ring, he picked up. “Wonho, I need you to come get me. You’re like five minutes away right? Yeah okay, I need you to come now.”

“Okay,” Wonho said, keys jingling. “What’s going on?” I heard his car engine start.

I put him on speaker. “Sehyoon just sent me this message.” I sighed, starting to read it. “Kihyun and Changkyun cornered me. Locked us in the bathroom. They kept throwing what my father did back in my face. Talking about how pathetic I am for following you around. Reminded me that I wouldn’t ever get the chance to be loved because of my status. Kihyun made a comment about Eunseo, something sexual and out of line. And when I went to stand up for her, I got pepper sprayed in the fucking face.” My heart broke that I wasn’t there. Kihyun wouldn’t have had the balls.

“Oh my God,” Jun whispered.

I sniffled a bit, anxiety trying to take over. “They took that chance to get revenge for what you did to Kihyun. I am hurt beyond hurt. Humiliated beyond humiliated, destroyed beyond repair. I thought I could do it. I can’t. If I don’t come home, know how much I love you Chan, you’ve been a constant good in my life among to constant evil. I’m saying this because I’m scared of myself. I really don’t want to keep hurting like this. But I also really want someone to save me right now.”

My heart ached for him, fear setting up camp. “I’m about to come down the street,” Wonho sighed, honking his horn. We looked up to see his white truck and began to sprint toward it, trying not to waste any time.

It took us less than 10 minutes to get to the school. Being in an Official vehicle, we could speed and deal with the repercussions later. “Come in with me,” I sighed, jumping out of the truck.

“I’ll be in in a second.” Wonho wasn’t moving yet.

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Bro, I can’t fucking go in there by myself and Jun can’t come in, he’s not a school aged Deviant.” 

Wonho rolled his eyes, jumping out. “What can I do?” Jun asked. 

I sighed a bit. “Call him, keep him talking, text me his location.” Jun rushed to get his phone out. “Let’s fucking go!” I started to run up to the front doors.

I pressed the buzzer, impatiently. “Kang Yuchan, you are suspended. Do not come into this building.”

Wonho stood next to me, flashing his badge. “I’m here to check on a student and he’s not to be let out of my sight. He’s coming in.” With that, we were buzzed in. 

As soon as we walked in, I received the first text. “He’s on the roof!” I started to run, knowing our typical ways to get there. I just needed him in one piece when I got there. Please don’t jump...

Once we reached the roof, I could hear him talking to Jun. “Why do people do it? Why do they take advantage of people? Why is it that the rules suddenly don’t apply to them? If a guy takes advantage of another guy, because his victim is gay, for some reason that suddenly doesn’t make him, the attacker gay. It’s the same kind of thing here, except committing a Deviant level offense against a Deviant somehow doesn’t make you a Deviant.” What did they do to him? 

I put my hand on the doorknob, slowly turning it, trying to keep the mechanisms silent. “Sehyoon, you just have to wait two months. You’ll turn 18,  
you’ll appeal, you’ll be saved.”

Catching a glimpse of Sehyoon as I slowly started opening the door, my heart broke a little more. He was beaten to East Hell and back. “I still have two months of Seo. Anything to keep the kids safe.” I turned to face Wonho and grabbed my phone. I urgently texted Jun to make him talk about it.

“I can handle it, okay? He only had me blow him. I can handle two months of that,” Jun said, almost immediately.

Sehyoon chuckled darkly. “Yeah he starts that way,” tears threatening to spill. “Did he touch you on the way out the fucking door today?” Jun confirmed that for him. “Yeah, next he’s gonna wake you up in the middle of the night. He’s gonna bring you into the living room and one of the kids might wake up and he’ll lie about why you’re up. Then he’ll get them to go back to bed and because they came downstairs while he was doing whatever he wanted to you, you’d get punished even worse. If you make a sound, he’ll make it worse. If you look like you’re gonna tell an Official, you’re gonna get it worse. It never fucking stops. He keeps us for sex and money, nothing else. Punching bags, yeah.” Sehyoon took a breath. “Did I ever tell you why Byeongkwan is the way he is?”

Jun was quiet for a second. “No, you didn’t.” I texted him, telling him Wonho was listening to everything. “One night, Eunseo took something from him and he was really upset. He already struggled expressing his feelings with his words. Seo got mad that he wouldn’t speak to him and he hit him, almost ten times harder than he hit Chan, and I’m not exaggerating. Byeongkwan almost fucking died. He wasn’t breathing for a good ten minutes and we’re fucking lucky this is all the brain damage he suffered. That man is evil and these fucking Officials put us away with these people like we aren’t fucking humans. As if we deserve anything we get because of our status. I can’t take living like this anymore, Jun. I’m tired.” I finally opened the door, quickly running up behind him.

Sehyoon screamed at first, scared of who just grabbed him like that. “I got you buddy, I got you.” He soon relaxed in my arms and broke down in tears. I rolled his sleeves up, surveying any damage he might’ve done. 

Wonho put in a call to Commissioner Chae. “Hey, we have a Code 918-31 happening with Mr. Seo Dae-hyun. He has eight deviant kids.”

Sehyoon looked up at Wonho as I sat us down on the ground. “W-What’s going on? What is he doing?” I ran my fingers through his hair to calm him down.

“He is getting all of you out of that house, getting your date moved up, saving you.” Sehyoon shook his head standing up. 

Wonho turned around to listen to what Sehyoon had to say. “Please, keep us together. Yeah, I only have a blood sister in there, but those kids... they’re my brothers and sisters. I need to be with them and know they’re safe.”

I shared a glance with Wonho. “I’ll see what I can do for you, kiddo. I’m just concerned with getting all of you out before school ends. Chae? Yeah, get some Elites over there. Before the bastard gets home. See what other secrets are hiding there.” Sehyoon began wringing his hands. “Chan?” Wonho called. “Take him to the truck, there’s gonna be a van to come, they’ll be picking up all of the kids. They’re already waiting in the front offices of their school.” I took Sehyoon’s arm, leading him down to the truck. 

We stopped to grave Eunseo and Byeongkwan. “What’s happening?” Byeongkwan asked, scared shitless. 

Eunseo noticed the situation at hand. “Transferred, I bet.” I sighed, completely exhausted. We sat outside to wait for the van to take us to a better place.


	14. xiv

When Chan brought Sehyoon down to the truck, I saw how completely and utterly broken he was. “Oh my fucking God!” I yelled, looking at his clothes. His shirt and sweater vest was darkened with blood, his arms shredded as if they had gotten caught in something. 

“Jun!” Chan screamed as I jumped out of the truck. “There’s a first aid kit in the back, get it out.” Sehyoon was hyperventilating, shock setting in for what he’d just done. “Eunseo, Byeongkwan, hurry up and get in the truck for a little bit.”

Byeongkwan was panicking, grabbing a hold of Eunseo’s shirt. “What’s happening?” He asked. 

Eunseo opened the back door of the truck, helping him in. “Transferred, I bet.” 

I grabbed the first aid kit, helping Chan sit Sehyoon on the curb. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my fucking God!” Sehyoon kept hyperventilating.

“Hey!” I snapped, grabbing his attention. “You need to breathe. Eunseo!” I called turning around to the truck. “Is there a paper bag back there?” She reaches one out of the window. “Here,” I unfolded the bag, putting it to Sehyoon’s mouth. “Breathe in, breathe out.” He tried to grab the bag but I shook my head. “I got you, you need to keep them out.”

Chan uncapped the disinfectant spray, “Alright, this is gonna hurt like hell, Sehni.” Without much more warning, Chan began spraying.

“Oh my God!” Sehyoon screamed, tears streaming faster. I held his arms out straight, trying to keep him from bringing his arms back toward him. 

After a few more seconds, Chan threw the spray can back in the kit. “Done! Okay! That’s done. All I have to do is wrap your arms, okay?” Sehyoon cried, shaking his head. “Please buddy, just let me wrap your arms.” 

I sighed a bit, pulling his legs straight out before sitting between them. “Look at me, Sehyoon.” I put my forehead to his, lowering my voice. “Okay, you don’t have to look at me yet, but listen to me. We’re about to be saved. All of us. Aubrey, Marie, Minhyuk, Jooheon, Byeongkwan, Eunseo, you, and me. All of us. We told an official what Seo was doing. They’re getting us out.” Sehyoon dropped his arms down by my waist, leaning to cry on my shoulder. Chan took that opportunity to wrap them. “No more, okay?” I asked. “No more needing to protect everyone by sacrificing yourself. No more sleeping with your foster parent. No more letting him hurt you. He can’t hurt you anymore. I know it’s gonna sting. It’s gonna hurt and it’s going to feel weird. You’re gonna feel more terrified than relieved, because you’re gonna be waiting for that other shoe to drop. It’s not gonna happen.” I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down. “Do you wanna change your hair when we get to our new home? Do you want to change something so he can start to fade away from you?” Sehyoon took a few deep breaths before nodding.

Chan was done by the end of our conversation and he sat behind Sehyoon, wrapping his arms tightly around him. “I’m so sorry, buddy. I should’ve noticed. I should’ve known.”

He shook his head. “N-No. You shouldn’t have known. It would’ve only gotten worse.” As we were bringing Sehyoon down from his panic, we heard laughter.

“Awe, isn’t that so sweet? Chan trying to save the Little Lost Cause.” This... fucking douchebag with glasses and light brown hair laughed. The noirette with green healing bruises over his face told me that was Kihyun.

Chan shook his head. “What the fuck did you do to him?” He asked.

I grabbed his wrists, still staying intertwined with Sehyoon and him. “Nothing he’s not used to. Just like old times, right baby?” Kihyun smiled.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Chan asked, looking between the two of them.

The first one, Changkyun I’m assuming, laughed a bit more. “Tell him, baby boy.” Sehyoon started to panic again. “Tell your best friend how you’d beg for us to help with your grades. Every single midterm and final. You’d pay us somehow. When you’re unemployed and worth nothing, you can only put one thing up as collateral.”

That’s where I wanted to step in. But behind them, Official Shin and Commissioner Chae were approaching. “I’m sorry boys,” Shin chuckled. “Am I hearing that you solicited sexual favors? That’s quite the Dereliction, Yoo and Im.” Seeing all the melanin drain from their skin was satisfaction enough. 

“I’ve heard quite a bit of bullying as well? We’ve been keeping tabs on you two.” Commissioner Chae grabbed his tablet. “Adding in the four years of midterms and finals, in which, I’m assuming you solicited sexual favors from Mr. Kim, you’re well overdue for a separation due to Deviant warning status.” Kihyun and Changkyun looked at each other, tears springing to Changkyun’s eyes. “Uh uh, don’t cry now, ‘baby boy’. I understand being a CEO’s golden child, you’ve never been taught the consequences of your actions.”

After Commissioner Chae typed things out of his tablet, Kihyun and Changkyun started to freak out. “What the fuck?” Kihyun asked. 

“I fucking love being a Commissioner.” Chae laughed. “You will be rematched with two different people. You may get people who are three years younger. You might get peers. But you will never get each other. Considering your families contribute large amounts to this society, be grateful instead of obliviously privileged that I even let you guys be rematched. Can you see color anymore?” They both shook their heads, holding hands for a second. A shock occurred between the two of them.

Changkyun jumped, “Fuck!” He screamed.

“Good, maybe now you two won’t know how ugly your sweaters really are.” Chan had to turn away to keep from laughing. “If you two share any romantic tendencies, you will then be demoted to Deviants. Have a good day, get back to class, all that scholarly shit.” Chae sighed, turning back toward the three of us. “A van is on the way for you guys. And Sehyoon, I-“

Sehyoon sniffled, looking up at him. “W-Will this affect my appeal?” He asked.

Commissioner Chae furrowed his eyebrows. “Will what affect your appeal?”

He wiped his tears, trying to stop his voice from shaking. “Th-the sexual favors and this... fucking stupid suicide attempt?” He asked.

Chae shook his head. “I’m sorry, what will affect your appeal?” He asked once again.

Before Sehyoon spoke up again, Chan piped up. “You have no idea what he’s talking about, do you?” 

We both grabbed Sehyoon’s hand, reassuring him. “I really don’t. Kim Sehyoon is perfectly on track to his appeal. In fact, I’ll be working to get the process expedited for both Kim Sehyoon and Park Junhee.” Sehyoon smiled, laughing a bit.

“Thank you, Commissioner.” The van pulling up in this moment was kismet.

Official Shin and Commissioner Chae went to the van to do a head count. “Aubrey and Marie Jeon?” Present. “Lee Minhyuk and Lee Jooheon?” Accounted for. “Kim Byeongkwan, Kim Eunseo, and Kim Sehyoon. You may all get into the van. Park Junhee and Kang Yuchan, you may ride with me again.” As we got up, Sehyoon wouldn’t let go of the two of us.

“Come on,” I mumbled, leading him and Chan to the truck. “May we all ride together?”

Official Shin nodded. “Hop in.”

As we got in the truck, Sehyoon finally sighed in relief, laying his head on Chan’s shoulder and holding my hand. Once the truck’s engine turned over, Chan and I locked eyes, both of us starting to cry.


End file.
